Winning Love
by Joe Normal
Summary: Clark's POV in the opening scene of "Calling".


A/N: I own nothing. DC, WB, Miller/Gough/Robbins - they own part or all of Superboy. I don't even own the computer this is being typed on.  
  
This speech isn't making any sense as I attempt to "capture the emotion" behind Lex and Helen's impending wedding. Ironic that Lex is so much better with words, yet he somehow expects me to move him with some kind of impassioned plea about how right this whole union is.  
  
Seriously, how the hell did I get into this situation in the first place?  
  
Right. Lex hit me with his car. Two years later, I'm his best man.for the second time. I joked to him once about how I should take his advice on love with a grain of salt ever since the Desiree Atkins/Sanders/Whatever incident a while back. He gives that small smile like he wants to laugh, but he is still sort of pissed about the whole thing.  
  
Then Helen shows up. Now, however many months later, they are engaged. Lex tells me. I hesitated a bit too long to congratulate him. He gets nervous thinking I'm going to lecture him not to do it, which for the record I wasn't going to do. The next three hours we sit in his den and he explains to me why he loves her. When I finally get a word in edgewise, my response is typical.  
  
"What do I know about marriage? I'm a sixteen year old farmboy who can't even bring up the nerve to ask his favorite girl out on a date. A DATE!?"  
  
Lex gets a good laugh out of the exasperation with which I say the last two words, throwing my arms up in defeat. But he at least gets that my hesitation isn't about Helen, its about being too young to grasp the full concept of marriage when I'm still grappling with keeping a "dinner and a movie" commitment. Then the real question:  
  
"So will you do me the honor of being my best man.again that is?" he asks laughing at himself this time. Well at least he's letting the Desiree thing go. I say yes without hesitating this time, not realizing that this is nothing like the Desiree marriage. And that I am going to have to do some public speaking with this best man speech. Of course I didn't piece this together until I got beyond the security gates of Luthor Manor as I was heading back home. This is the real problem with having my "abilities". You're really bad at thinking things through sometimes.  
  
Normally my problem is a phone call to Chloe away from being solved. But as always, she's mad at me. About something and about nothing all at the same time.  
  
She's mad at me for missing a deadline. Okay. Fine. Not like it hasn't happened before or anything. But again, she's right, I screwed up.  
  
I'm mad at her because it is about Lana and she won't admit it.  
  
If Pete missed a deadline she wouldn't have immediately said "Ever since football started you've been totally distant" or something like that. In fact, Pete wasn't able to make certain deadlines because of football. Where was his lecture? Chloe's hated jocks way before she started getting chummy with Lana. She still hates jocks, yet they are an acceptable excuse for Pete to forget articles. But Lana? No way. Not acceptable.  
  
The worst part? I tried to walk away from this whole mess.  
  
The minute I heard Lana was moving in with Chloe, the deal was done. There was simply no way to way to pursue this any further. Chloe in all her masterful villainy found the one way to make me back down on the Lana thing. Make it so awkward that I couldn't even talk about with Pete. I know, "more awkward", I thought it was impossible too. What can I say? Chloe is brilliant.  
  
Yeah, I know she didn't do it for that reason. Chloe is brilliant, no doubt about that, but she is also the most caring person I know next to Mom. She did it for Lana. Funny how much we have in common.  
  
So I tried to crush the whole thing, one ill-fated night at the Talon. My infamous "let's just all be friends" tirade followed by my super-manly stomping out of the place. Needless to say it didn't work. I was pretty proud of putting my foot down even if it meant never having a girlfriend in high school.  
  
Super-manly? "Superman?" Nah, that sounds dumb.  
  
I'm tired of this whole thing.  
  
I can't keep pretending Chloe isn't there when we pass each other in the halls.  
  
I can't keep pretending I don't want more with Lana than I already have.  
  
I can't keep pretending this isn't effecting other people not involved in the angst triangle. If Pete walks into another stalled Chloe/Clark/Lana conversation, I'm going to vomit. I've already asked him to deal with too much of my personal life as is. He doesn't deserve this too.  
  
Anyway, this whole thing won't get settled until somebody just spills their guts about how they feel. Lana and I suck at that. Chloe is stubborn and will deny what she's really feeling even under the torture of no sleep or caffeine for days on end. It's a stalemate.  
  
You can't win love if you fear rejection.  
  
Hey, there's a starting point for the best man speech. Or at least a theme. I've already got a few sentences down. Kick ass. Well at least I'm closer to solving this problem.  
  
I hear footsteps coming from the ground floor of the barn beneath me and check the clock. Quarter 'til midnight. Well I guess its Dad telling me to pack it up for a night.  
  
Its Lana. In my loft. Near midnight. Two years ago and this would have only been happening in my subconscious. Starting out with a G rated conversation and occasionally ending with an NC-17 uh.well anyway.  
  
She's looking like she's up to no good, as much as she can anyway when not under the influence of certain flowers. Lana. Swimming Pool. Underwear. I really need to get my mind out of the gutter before she starts talking.  
  
She's holding a box and I can't figure out for the life of me what's in it. Part of me hopes it's a hard disk with the world's greatest best man speech ever written on it because I'm still not confident of what I'm writing down, and I'm doing an excellent job of telling Lana about it. The more realistic part of me knows its not. Maybe Lana will console me with a back rub or.dammit Clark! Pay attention!  
  
Lana is insistent that the mystery box is a fun surprise, so I close my eyes. I'm actually getting really curious as to the surprise. Curious in a G rated way for once. I open them up to discover a cake with four candles. I'm confused. Lana is too, as she reveals to me that it's my birthday.  
  
She wonders how I could've gotten so distracted that I didn't get excited about my birthdayweeks in advance. I would love to tell her the truth that my mind hasn't been the same since discovering which planet I'm actually from. I tell her a half-truth about how being adopted with "unknown" under your birthdate tends to make the day less meaningful. She shoots back with how the actual day doesn't matter as much as the sentiment of my friends and family celebrating how much I mean to them.  
  
I shiver when I look into her eyes as she explains this.  
  
I love her.  
  
"You can't win love if you fear rejection," my mind chimes in the silly quote I jotted down just a few minutes ago.  
  
Time to live by those words.  
  
FIN 


End file.
